Somewhere between MySpace and fatherhood, the algorithm showed up.
I belong to the generation of internet and social media veterans: dial-up internet in 1995, StudiVZ, ICQ, MySpace, eventually Facebook. Never Twitter, awkwardly Instagram, and even a brief stop at Google Plus. Not as an early adopter or trendsetter—more of a follower, really—but at least never the last idiot to show up.
And honestly, I enjoyed most of those journeys: building communities organically, making connections, rediscovering old friends and meeting new ones.
Push The Feeling On
But whenever I tried to promote ideas or projects organically, it was frustrating.
Today I realize I behaved like I did at the local village disco back in the early ’90s: always driving to the same party with the same buddies to meet the same crowd and have a bit of pointless fun. And that worked reasonably well on social media too (by the way, what the fuck happened to Facebook? 😂) — just not when it came to becoming an overnight viral success.
Connected
As for how it could work better, ChatGPT and Claude are never short on professional advice. And just like that, I feel the old reflex kicking in again: the temptation to throw myself (semi-professionally) into the pull of the social media attention machine.
But I know how exhausting that can be. How it can slowly change your personality. And how much time it consumes.
So I always have to pull myself back:
“It’s a hobby.”
And:
“My kids benefit more from having an attentive and involved father.”
(Even though—let’s be honest—that can be exhausting too. But nobody gives you those early years back.)
As interesting as creative experimentation can be, or interacting with followers when it actually happens, real connections simply carry more weight. If only because communication between real people happens on so many more levels (smiles, leers, scoffs, smirks).
And if you’ve already lost a few meaningful connections throughout your life, you know just how valuable shared time really is.
Time is something nobody gives back, either.
Even Flow
Well, that’s the dilemma of the attention machine.
But I’ll figure it out. It certainly isn’t the first trade-off I’ve had to deal with.
And even if those little dopamine drips feel great, you can’t actually buy anything with them.
The ideal solution, of course, would be for Daddy Grunge to go viral immediately.
That way there’d be no slow, creeping pull—just an overwhelming rush that would have to be contained by any means necessary.
Ah well.
Honestly, I’d much rather be talking about all this over a beer with real people.
A Gen-X Daddy